Lizzie McGuire, You Are An Outfit Repeater!
Lilly explains why she is in pursuit of "old reliables."
As unromantic as it sounds, wedding planning is mostly a series of purchases with a shelf life of less than 24 hours. The wedding industry is obsessed with single-use items: slow-burn ivory pillar candles that melt down in glass holders (I dare you to look up how much a pack of 36 of these costs), acrylic signs with table numbers, custom four-foot tall engraved seating charts. Despite The Knot telling me these are all things I just have to have, I’m proud that my fiance and I have whittled down the number of things we’ve purchased just to be thrown away at the end of the night to near-zero. I made all of the invites and signage myself, we vetoed anything with the word “custom” in it, and rented almost all of the decor.
However, we will be left with one big, white purchase at the end of the day that will only ever be used once: my wedding dress. I could’ve been Cool and Chic and gotten something vintage or perhaps gone for something not white and rewearable, but I’ve DIYed so much of my wedding and it’ll be fine-ed away so many other details that I wanted to find something that fit and felt perfect for me. When my mom offered to help pay for the dress, getting a brand new one became a gift to myself that I didn’t want to pass up.
It has made me think a lot more about how I view shopping for the rest of my wardrobe, though.
Because I didn’t have a lot of money in high school or college, I didn’t have a huge clothing budget. I did a lot of wearing and rewearing (and rewearing again). I was a hand-me-down girl through and through, so I mostly “shopped” out of closets of older friends and family members — with the occasional splurge at H&M or Old Navy (I also always begged for a Modcloth dress for my birthday or Christmas during my twee era, but let’s not talk about that!). At the time, I felt uncool and frumpy compared to my classmates. But looking back, one of my favorite things about pictures of myself in high school or college is the repetition of “old reliables” (what young Melinda and I used to call the staple pieces that we wore until they pretty much tore to shreds): the white converse that turned a dull gray (unless we had recently bleached them in a bucket in our dorm), the jean shorts that always stretched and somehow fit perfectly, the same big sweater that one of our other roommates and I both had in different colors, the coral raincoat I’d wear while jogging from under awning to awning on Boylston Street.
In college, in a class on literature written in and about urban spaces in the U.S., I had to read Michel de Certau’s essay “Walking in the City,” from his book The Practice of Everyday Life. In this essay, he answers questions about who and what gives a city its life. For de Certeau, it isn’t the cartographers, who map out the streets from a bird’s eye view; it’s the pedestrians, who imbue new meaning into their cities with their daily routes and experiences on the ground level.
Clothing isn’t very different. While it’s the creators who largely decide what we common people wear (we’ve all heard the Cerulean Sweater monologue from Devil Wears Prada), it’s our experiences in our clothes that give them life. We decide what we wear when we want to feel smart or sexy or comfortable, and it’s our positive memories that help us make those decisions — although the current rate at which we’re encouraged to consume and dispose of it doesn’t necessarily allow for much meaning to be given to any individual piece. If you’re someone interested in clothes or fashion in any way and you scroll TikTok, you’ll find videos of influencers telling you which clothes to buy for your next vacation or which series of white dresses you need for each of your different wedding events within minutes. If you’re going to Europe, they tell you, here’s what you’ll need to buy. If you can’t afford what they’re suggesting, here’s the Amazon dupe.
I think the most shopping I ever did in the span of only a few months was during the second year of the pandemic, when I first started using TikTok. I was finding out about new stores and trends at a break-neck speed, had some extra money as a result of going out less and getting a slightly higher-paying job, and feeling desperate to look good during a time when I didn’t feel great. Somehow, it felt productive to be “keeping up” with something when I felt pretty stifled in my career and social life, even if it was an Abercrombie sale.
I do think it’s sad how quickly what we put on our body becomes meaningless when we buy new clothing at this pace. If there’s always the next trend to jump onto, what’s to stop us from throwing out pieces from the current one? How many pieces will follow us from first dates, to big promotions, to heart-to-hearts, to runs in the rain? And if we’re constantly getting rid of clothing that we only wore once or twice, if we see so little value for each individual piece in our lives, how are we going to value the people who made them?
As a sentimental person at heart, my favorite pieces of clothing are the ones I have the most stories in — or the ones my mom has given me from her closet, which come with stories of her own. I’m not going to stop buying new clothes, but after a year spent budgeting around a one-night event, I’m more focused on making my new old reliables (and making sure that my wedding dress is the last piece of clothing I only ever wear once.) — LM
Hunter-gatherer corner
What we’ve read and DMed each other about lately — our internet bounty is below!
“Exactly What Is Copy, the First AI-Powered Fashion Magazine, Trying to Prove?” by Laird Borrelli-Persson - Vogue — My big news is that, as of yesterday, I have begun professoring for a semester and my course is all about the current state of the media and magazine industry. I guess that means it’s time for me to finally learn about AI. All jokes aside, it’s incredibly interesting to keep up with how it is affecting our industry. I especially enjoyed this interview because instead of focusing on the same (valid) fears of what happens when companies start using AI to write our articles, it dives into why we should worry about the biases we’re feeding AI and how bias is inextricably linked to anything we use AI to generate. Worth the read! — LM
“Kyle Deschanel, the Rothschild Who Wasn’t” by Nate Freeman - Vanity Fair — I haven’t gotten around to reading this yet, but it’s a New York grifter story. YKTV. (I cannot wait to find out why this girl met this guy and just….believed him when he said he was a Rothschild lmao) — MF
Why Not?
Why Not? is our biweekly list of recommendations. Think recipes, gift guides, podcasts, clothes, and anything we consider to be generally chic. Have a suggestion? Let us know!
“Shein Trouble” by Today, Explained - Vox — Shoutout to Melinda’s coworkers on this one! I generally like Today, Explained for its short but thorough episodes and used this episode in my syllabus as a great example of a journalistic podcast (my last teaching mention, I promise!). It also felt particularly relevant to today’s essay. — LM
Cora Harrington’s Twitter account — Even though I’m using Twitter (Nope, don’t want to call it X, sorry!) less and less these days, I enjoy reading Cora’s takes on tailoring and fashion in general. Seeing her posts really opened my eyes to the perils of a fast fashion–obsessed world. — LM
Snow Days Grain-Free Pizza Bites — I’ve been extremely soft launching a foray into gluten free life. I don’t know if it’s for me. I think I love bread too much, but anyway this has resulted in me trying a bunch of random gluten free items, so watch this space. These pizza bites sound like they would be total ass, but I promise they’re addictive (especially the veggie white flavor, trust me!) — MF
NuFACE Mini+ Petite Facial Toning Device — Sephora — I’ve coveted one of these for years, and my boyfriend finally bought it for me for my birthday (I wasn’t going to buy it myself LOL) and wow, where has she been all my life. It really does make me look more snatched! I use it a few times a week, but I used it before attending a wedding a few weeks ago and I feel like it really made the difference in my skin prep. It’s super easy and fast to use, and is a perfect skincare investment product. Note that it’s always on sale somewhere so you don’t have to get it at Sephora unless you’re trying to snag some VIB points. — MF
SuperGoop Super Sale - Miami Sample — I already ordered my 12 pack of the Watery Lotion ($130 for a $408 value, insanity) so you’re free to go girls — SUPERGOOP UP TO 68 PERCENT OFF. I REPEAT, SUPERGOOP UP TO 68 PERCENT OFF!!! Don’t walk, run. — MF
If you liked this issue, delete that top you don’t actually need from your cart! Tell us your thoughts in the comments or on Instagram (@lilly_milman | @melindafakuade), or send this to your old reliable <3
Just stumbled upon your newsletter/this post via Platonic Love--such a great perspective! I’ve been struggling with my style lately and it’s had me thinking about which clothing items I’ve held on to for years. Among my favorites are my leather jacket scored at a Nordstrom anni sale over a decade ago. I wore that thing all throughout studying abroad in college (talk about the stories of lived-in clothing!) and still wear it 10+ years later!
Ahh love this. I’ve been trying to block out the buy-more noise on social media and lean into my old reliables more and more these days and it really makes me feel like my wardrobe has a stronger sense of character. I also love looking back at old high school photos and reminiscing on the beige Brandy Melville sweater I wore everyday that became insanely pilled. Thanks for sharing :)