The Wedding Issue: Maid of Honor Edition
Melinda shares her maid of honor speech, bridesmaid dress recs, and more <3
The night before Lilly’s wedding, I didn’t get any sleep. This is how I am whenever I have to do something tomorrow: travel, start a new job, or, in this case, give a maid of honor speech. I had a few ideas on what I wanted to say, but in the weeks leading up to the event, I couldn’t gather my thoughts neatly enough. I decided to write it all down in a notebook, drafting and re-drafting the speech by hand daily in the few days before the wedding. I woke up Paul to practice it about 2 hours before I met the girls in the bridal suite for hair and makeup that morning. He cried and I cried, and I knew I had arrived at the final draft.
I hadn’t done any real public speaking since college, so my nerves jittered throughout the reception. Writing it down so many times, I knew all the beats, but reciting it to the party, I pretty much read it verbatim to pull myself through my tears. Here is that speech below, which if I do say so myself, went over so well that by the time I was done, everyone from the guests to the wait staff were sobbing too. — MF
Hi everyone. My name is Melinda, and I’m Lilly’s maid of honor. I’m so excited to be here with all of you today to celebrate my favorite person on one of the most special days of her life. It is truly an honor. I feel like it’s only fair to tell everyone upfront that I am a crier, so this might be a rocky ride, but hang in there with me.
Lilly and I had overlapping friends throughout middle school and high school, but we basically became close overnight in our senior year. We had had less than a handful of conversations before, had seen each other around the halls or in a few classes, but honestly, I didn’t know much about Lilly before then, besides the fact that she was very nice and very smart. That was all true, but getting to know her in our creative writing class and as heads of the school literary magazine, I soon discovered that Lilly, who I had previously considered to be one of my quietest classmates, was incredibly funny. I mean screaming, crying, hold-onto-your-chair funny. Our conversations would ping pong back and forth with this newfound synergy, and eventually one of us would say something and suddenly our words would disintegrate into just noise, just this shrieking, can’t-breathe kind of laughter. She had this perfectly deadpan delivery that I had never encountered before. I would actually be doing my homework or watching TV or something, and I would find myself alone, cracking up all over again just thinking of something Lilly had said that day. It took me by surprise. Where had this girl been all this time?
I remember that soon after we became friends, I introduced her to my boyfriend Paul, the officiant today, and he remarked that Lilly was “a good influence on me.” Not like I was getting into trouble or anything like that. Another thing we had in common was that Lilly and I were both nerds in high school. We weren’t getting up to anything, so he didn’t mean it that way. It was more so that even then, even as awkward 17 year olds, it was obvious that Lilly was important and special, that we were in lockstep, that it was so joyous, our friendship. That brand new laughter was the sound that colored some of the best days of my life.
I know a lot of people in this room can relate. Looking around, there are guests in attendance today who have known Lilly for years and years and years — friendships that have survived big changes and distance and age, the kind of friendships that most people do not get to have in their lifetimes, not even close. There are newer faces too, all woven from a similar caliber of cloth. Lilly choose the best people to be in her life, and she cherishes her people deeply, through every version of their self. That is unusual and rare, and we’re all better off for it. I am lucky to have become who I am with her at my side. But as we all know, Mike is the luckiest of all.
Now, by the end of 3 years of bouncing around Boston for college together, I knew Lilly like the back of my hand. A story we often tell is that one time, Lilly arrived to class without me. This shook people to their cores. Was I sick? Did I drop out? All of our classmates wanted to know where I was and if I was okay. And I was — I was just in the bathroom. But the presence of a Lilly without a Melinda was just unbelievable. We went everywhere together and did everything together. I’m pretty sure that a lot of people assumed that I would be the one meeting Lilly at the altar on her wedding day. We were one big weird hive mind. So, when Lilly and I went out to lunch in our last week of college, and she sheepishly told me “I think I like this guy,” in this quiet, Lilly way that was closer to the first version of her I had ever met, well, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t already know. I was like, “Yeah…? You’ve been walking around all week with this big ass smile on your face. I think I could’ve guessed that…?!” But she now had this look of relief on her face, mixed with pure terror. It was amazing. Lilly, who was typically unshakable, did not know what to do next. But the two of them are sitting here today, so I think it’s obvious she figured that one out.
And you know how you have those friends, where you’re watching their lives, and you’re like, “Yeah, I don’t know…it’s anybody’s game, anything can happen here?” I never had to sit around wondering what was going to happen to Lilly. I never had to worry. I never had to go to sleep at night thinking “Please God, please send this woman a man because that may be her only hope. She needs a distraction, or a direction, just something to do,” you know? I always knew everything was going to work out perfectly for her. And so when Lilly came back from Alaska and reunited with Mike, and I saw the way he looked at her? Well, I had to pretend I didn’t know what was going to happen. Of course she gets the meet-cute. Of course she gets the fairytale. Nobody deserves it more. Of course Lilly chose right, and may I add, ladies and gentlemen, chose right the first time. In this economy? That’s just unheard of, but of course Lilly found this handsome, charming, respectful guy with a good credit score. Very hard to come by these days. In all seriousness though, Mike has a heart of hold and a good head on his shoulders. Of course a guy like Mike gets the girl. He’s kind, smart, funny, and his name also starts with M and he’s also born in July and he also has a gap in his 2 front teeth, so I knew we would be great friends. I feel so blessed to have become his friend too, and it’s been amazing over the past few years watching him become a Real Boy at the hands of Lilly’s excellent puppeteering.
I don’t have any marriage advice, because number one, I’m not married, and number two, like I said earlier, the best part of this is that I don’t have to worry. Seriously, it’s so nice to not have to do that weird thing where you tell the groom you’re going to kill him if he hurts your best friend. I expect only the best from these two. Watching your love and adoration for each other grow has been one of the most beautiful things to witness. I’m so excited for a future for you guys filled with success, happiness, and even more love, and I know you’ll get everything you ever wanted together. In the two of you, I have found friends that have become family, and if you have a family one day, I can’t wait to tell them about everything we got up to. So, I’d like to raise a toast to these two, who are a shining example of the peace of mind, certainty, and pure happiness that true love can bring.
Mike, thank you for loving Lilly, but also, how could you not? I loved her immediately too.
Lilly, this is everything I could ever want for you and more. To more of that laughter. Being your best friend has been the honor of my life.
—MF
P.S ICYMI: can’t get enough of The Wedding Issue? We’ve got all the details on Lilly’s wedding dress + her wedding vendors, and a very sweet essay in the most recent This Is Why! post right here.
Why Not? —Here Comes the Bridesmaids Edition
Lilly was kind enough to let her bridesmaids choose their own dresses. She’s braver than the marines for doing this, but the vision came to life in a medley of pastels, petals, pleats, and ruffles. All the dresses are linked below, listed in order from left to right in the lead image!
Camille Dress in Pink Multi - Sau Lee - Revolve — Ariana’s dress was a bright and playful pop of color, and it would be a great option for a spring and summer wedding too!
Frankie Dress in Buena - Reformation - Reformation — Christina’s deep green dress was a perfect choice. Reformation is the holy grail for bridesmaid and wedding guest dresses, it’s literally impossible to go wrong here. She almost chose the Frankie Dress in the color Tea Garden, a light green that also would’ve looked amazing. This dress also comes in petite (which Christina got) and extended sizes and colors! It’s also sold at Anthropologie, if you have a discount code.
Capri Diamonte Slip Dress in Melon - Bardot - Revolve — Val’s dress had fun rhinestone straps, and is versatile enough for other dressy occasions outside of a wedding party!
Bryce Dress in Golden Hour - LoveShackFancy - LoveShackFancy — I fell in love with with this golden goddess-y LoveShackFancy dress, and I am so glad I went for the splurge!
I had decided on this pretty similarly priced Embellished Floral One Shoulder Gown from Mac Duggal months before the wedding, but it had this weird beige lining that was visible at the bottom, and the top was weirdly big. I planned to get it altered, but the tailor said it would really expensive and difficult to change out the tacky lining and adjust the back and shorten it, so it didn’t make sense to keep anymore. If you don’t mind the lining, and are flatter and taller than me in build, I would still suggest it. Anyway, I needed to change my dress, and I’m glad I did because the color of my new dress actually worked better than the Mac Duggal one for the group!
I’m 5’1, so I still had to get it shortened, and I took some fabric off the sides to make the bodice and chest less billowy. I was worried about the keyhole, since I am nowhere near as flat-chested as the Bryce Dress model, and I needed a good sticky bra and some fashion tape, but I think it was tastefully hot! (One of Lilly’s family members described my walking down the aisle as “stepping out in the sexy,” which I am very obsessed with.) I got tons of compliments, and this is definitely going to be my go-to dress for future fancy events, it’ll work across seasons, it was worth it, girl math, et cetera. Cannot recommend enough!
Giselle Pleated Cutout Maxi Dress - A&F - Abercrombie — Courtney chose a TikTok viral dress, and it lived up to the hype. Our pleats played off each other nicely, and this dress comes in petite, regular, and tall! Unfortunately, the pink jewel tone isn’t available anymore, but there are lots of other nice colors to pick from.
Rialto Gown - LoveShackFancy - LoveShackFancy — My sister Amanda’s dress was probably the standout of the bunch. It anchored the group’s look together, and the ruffles were so fun! Amanda is 4’11, so she had to get this dress significantly shortened, but it was well worth it. This dress has become harder and harder to find online, so I can’t find a link to the pastel yellow shade, but it’s still lingering around in a few places in the shade “Candy Sparkle.”
Noya Dress - ASTR The Label - Revolve — Caroline’s ruffly light green gown had cute little flecks of lavender, and included white florals without being inappropriate for a wedding!
Honorable mentions
Comfortable dancing shoes that added a lot of height. The other LoveShackFancy dress I almost chose. The best sticky bra for Big Boobs. Or try these nipple covers. The slip I didn’t wear, but kept for another occasion. The lip palette the makeup artist used on me that day. The best eye masks to prep for a special event. Affordable, expert, crazy fast tailoring in NYC. “Something new” from the bridesmaids to Lilly to wear on her wedding day.
P.S. Lilly will be back from her honeymoon next time we’re in your inbox! Thanks for reading the Wedding Issue, and let us know what you want to see from This Is Why! for the rest of 2023! — MF
If you liked this issue, we feel honored! Tell us your thoughts in the comments or on Instagram (@lilly_milman | @melindafakuade), or send this to your future bridesmaids!
This might be the best maid of honor speech I’ve ever heard, and I didn’t even hear it live. You’re such an incredible example of bone-deep friendship. Love, love, loved this.