Signposts of girlhood

Aja Frost, co-creator of the Platonic Love newsletter, shares her girlhood reading list in issue 2 of Girls Month.

Welcome to Week 2 of Girls Month! In this issue (our first ever guest post!)

Aja Frost

of

Platonic Love

(one of our favorite newsletters!!) lets us into her girlhood by sharing a reading list that got her through her childhood and adolescence. If you’re just tuning in, check out last week’s issue of Girls Month, where Lilly dove into Emma Cline’s 2016 novel The Girls.

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It’s an experience as old as fiction, probably — I was a pretty weird girl (socially awkward; obsessed with Neopets and fairies; prone to leaving my crushes anonymous letters on their desks) and so I found companionship in books. But more than that, I read to find and understand my identity. Without consciously setting out to do so, I was searching for ways to be: signposts of girlhood I could follow. 

Some of these six books were positive influences… Others were not. What they all have in common are the footprints they left on my psyche. — AF

A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett was the first book I remember truly loving. (It was also my first introduction to money porn. Coincidence?) The nineteenth-century protagonist, Sara, is attending a posh English boarding school when her wealthy father dies — leaving her penniless. The boarding school mistress promptly turns Sara into an indentured servant, working for her former schoolmates, and exiles her to the cold, spartan attic. Despite these indignities, Sara remains kind and good, the true definition of “a little princess,” and is eventually rewarded with a just-as-dramatic reversal of fortune.

What it taught me: Fate is fickle; it’s okay to be lonely if you’re a good person; nothing could be cozier than an attic garrett filled with cozy rugs and books

The Clique by Lisi Harrison was unadulterated money porn. The twenty-part (!) series follows young socialite Massie Block, who’s basically Napoleon in Jimmy Choo boots and Seven jeans. (Please remember the first one was written in 2004.) Massie rules her middle school with the help of her “betas,” Alicia, Kristen, and Claire. The plots were always ridiculous and frankly, besides the point. The most interesting part about The Clique was how self-directed the main characters were. They were pre-teens but never acted like them — moving through the world with confidence, charisma, and occasionally, true moments of brilliance. 

What it taught me: Designer clothes are extremely covetable; being in the popular group was just as glamorous as it seemed; where Westchester was

The Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor was a lesson in unconditional love. Alice was — and I say this with such affection — so average. She wasn’t particularly good at sports, or school, or art. She wasn’t unusually good-looking or funny or emotionally intelligent. But she was the recipient of so much affection: from her father, stepmom, brother, friends, and boyfriend, and, of course, the reader, who follows her from twelve years old to sixty. I’m still trying to internalize that love isn’t contingent on being special. 

What it taught me: Having an older brother would have made me cooler; it’s normal to feel humiliated by adolescence; the aforementioned love isn’t contingent on being special

Caucasia, by Danzy Senna reframed the agonies of adolescence through a racial lens. Which, at the time I read it, felt radical. Caucasia starts in the ‘70s. Birdie is a biracial preteen forced to flee from the FBI with her mother, a white activist, and pass as Jesse Goldman, a white, Jewish girl from New Hampshire. She’s separated from her older — and clearly Black — sister, Cole. Birdie and Cole are extremely close, so much so they speak a made-up language. In losing Cole, Birdie loses one of her closest ties to Blackness. 

What it taught me: Siblings are both mirrors and foils; the idea race is a construct; being an adult doesn’t make you good, wise, or caring

Anatomy of a Boyfriend by Daria Snadowsky was my Forever. By which I mean: It was the first book with sex scenes I read multiple times. (If you were born any later than 1994, I don’t think this reference will land, sorry.) Straight-A student Dom starts dating track star, Wes, her senior year. Their relationship is convincingly intense — in a giddy, charmingly awkward way when it begins and a painful, relatable way when it ends. I was lucky to have exposure to those sex scenes, because they were similarly awkward, relatable, scary, and exciting… a pretty realistic portrayal of what it’s like the first time.

What it taught me: Don’t even think about following your boyfriend to school (seriously, don’t); what a dental dam was; my first breakup was going to really suck 

The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (unfortunately) shaped a lot of my conceptions around love. Unlike Anatomy, The Time Traveler’s Wife isn’t big on realism. Clare, a stunning art student, has known her husband, Henry, since she was six. He was thirty-six. You see, Henry spontaneously and involuntarily time travels — he has his whole life — and so he’s been popping up in Clare’s backyard as long as she can remember. They don’t so much fall in love as stay in it throughout the book, with all the complications of being with someone who cannot consistently stay in one place/time. (The age gap isn’t a complication. You see the issue.) 

What it taught me: Being an artist is very sexy, being a younger woman dating an older man is very sexy, never knowing where (or when) your partner is is very scary but very sexy

The majority of these books are by white women — which reflects my reading habits when I was younger. These days, there’s far greater BIPOC author representation in the girlhood/coming-of-age genre. Some of my favorites as an adult include Yolk by Mary H.K. Choi, Swing Time by Zadie Smith, My Education by Susan Choi, The Girls from Corona del Mar by Rupi Thorpe, Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite, Luster by Raven Leilani, and Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo.

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Thanks so much to Aja for sharing — and if you haven’t subscribed to

Platonic Love

yet, you’re missing out! Give it a read ASAP and stay tuned for next week’s issue of Girls Month! — L&M

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If you liked this issue, tell us your girlhood reading list. Tell us your thoughts in the comments or on Instagram (@lilly_milman | @melindafakuade), and share it with your fellow girls!